Friday, August 08, 2008

Arm chair Olympics

The Sangh would've been very happy to see the tikkas on the chinese performers' foreheads. We'll soon see "research" on how chinese inventions like paper, the compass and gunpowder were actually taken to china by Rama or some other indisputable hero. If you dispute them, you'll be encroaching on their right to religious freedom and they'll all be righteously angry :D
The hindi commentator is already describing the women flying around on wires as "apsaras"

The inaugural fireworks were awesome and so was the light and sound show.

The ceremony is quintessentially Chinese. Quantity, nationalism, militariness, boring classical music and that endearing far eastern quality, completely useless symbolism.
Overwhelmingly lotsa people with silly looking hats.

I saw a man missing a beat in the drum ceremony. will he be shot tomorrow?

Why doesn't the hindi commentator read up a little bit more on chinese culture instead of constantly forcing comparisons with indian culture... poor chinese kid is flying a kite and while the english commentator goes "the kite is also an chinese invention, and was used for military purposes..."the hindi commentator defensively interrupts him and goes "patang bharat mein bhi udayi jaati hai, gujarat mein rajasthan mein..." gaaahhh

The olympic observers, commentators, policy makers etc weren't kidding when they said that this was "China's chance to showcase itsef".. the opening ceremony seems to be some insecure beaureaucrat's idea of China China China. I was blindsided for sometime by the fireworks and the light show that it only now dawns on me how bloody boring the ceremony is actually turning out to be.. I can take only so much self-aggrandisation and nostalgic romanticisation. For an economic and military powerhouse, China is incredibly insecure about itself.

Most young chinese, international and otherwise think that China is misunderstood. And so must the chinese govt., for they decided to bombard us with enough China in 3 hours to understand it.

Ah.. the lesson on chinese history is finally over. they've finished telling us how great they actually are.
the light show with the pianist and kid is finally making things look up

damn.. the human bird's nest is just bloody awesome

The english commentator is wonderfully well read on the subject of china. and knows exactly what to say when. When the umbrellas with children's grinning faces opened around the globe, he said "you and me" or was he calling out the names of the two singers on top of the globe? "yu and mei"

Jeez... the globe and its "globe trotters" simply amazing. beautiful... gotta hand it to them...
The ceremony is turning out to be one eclectic mix of really boring and absolutely stupendous

And finally we have the atheletes...

Huh... can't figure out the order of nations... must be the Chinese alphabetical order or something.

hmmm.. Pakistan, Britain, Cuba, Iran (!) and Canada(!!) get roars from the crowds and Russia, the US and Iraq(!!!) received the biggest roars, while India's rather pathetic looking bunch of tennis players, weight lifters and shooters received contemptuous silence :D

Burundi had the most risque outfit for women.. a rather unassumingly stylish, strapless off-shoulder ethnic outfit.

Kyrgytan was the funniest.. the hats looked like upside down chinese-takeout boxes and their flag has what looks like a cricket ball in the center :D..
The announcements by the Chinese lady were also pretty funny. Through your nose say "aaanh sayy bhai yyaaan" for Azerbaijan and "huuu maiii yaaaa" for Romania, I sound like a redneck I suppose :)

And the arm chair sportsman signs off

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