Thursday, September 13, 2007

Talking of Gods... Mine would like to know you

I am the Pastafarian
I am the Pastafarian
I am the Pastafarian
I am the Pastafarian
rrraaaargghhhhh rowrrrrrr

I have been said to be in the same lineage as Russel's Teapot. HOW DARE THEY!!! A pox of lifelong substance abuse on them. I AM THE PASTAFARIAN. I don't come from any "Lineage". I AM existence and to amuse me I brought you into existence. Also to keep me company, I also brought a daddy-o, wispy ghost and holy vodka into existence.

I have been said to be related to a vague pink flying invisible unicorn. I scornthose who say that, I spit on them, I throw them in contempt of the court of Marinara Sauce. You dare relate me, the sacred PASTAFARIAN, to those superstitious fools? If the unicorn were invisible how do you know its pink? eh? Eh? EH??? TEll me thaTT!!! And they readily agree that the "both of us" (note the collective term... psyching me into their beliefs) are from "Russel's Teapot" and they are in fact the less dogmatic and hierarchical of the two. Of course they press the point with the Pink Unicorn Dearest Diary in one hand and a Uzi Submachine gun in the other.

The Last Thurdayists have gone on record and called me just one of "God's Prophets" and their prophet is in fact the final prophet and theirs is the "Final Religion"... AAARRGHHH OWWWWRRRR... That's a lot of nerve for a god who took seven days not counting thursdays to create the world... I did it at the speed of thought.
(No Bill gates.. you cannot sue me for copyright infringement.. I am omnipotent.. and I'll move to Linux) And to show their hostility toward me, they ran my favourite RC controlled speedboats into my 20 story luxury yacht. Barbarians!! Is this how they get back at me for the innocent looting that I did in their little towns?

Polytheistic religions? those pagans? they are pretty colourful.. I'll give it to them... I'll let you into a secret though.. you know when I'm twiddling my thumbs at my Holy Center of the Universe, Batty-can Metropolis, I created not just the daddy-o, wispy ghost and the holy vodka but also lotsa angels in yellow and black spandex. Then there are Supervisor Angels in red and black spandex, and four Pasta-favourite angels in (giggle) see-through spandex ;) . And to take care of you my little noodlisms, I've created 5120 Supermen. If you've mobile phone problems pray to your mobile phone superman before you pray to one of the angels. Don't bother me though, I'm still trying to create blue-yellow spandex. On top of that I've created gollums, smollums, cheery little hermaphrodites with wings that shoot expanding lead bullets at you to give you multiple orgasms, little people, large people et all. So there. We are every bit as colourful as those pagans with multiple gods and demigods and .. well .. whatever.
Onto my most gullible devotee, Nirmal...
(why do I use this tender, loving, sexy, genius's blog to express myself, you ask? Because you'd do good to be nice to him.. that's why.. I know that isn't a logical answer but my lines are supposed be read in-between too)

After that thrilling self-introduction (my spine is still tingling).. let all believers give THE PASTAFARIAN an "ooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyaaaayyyyyyy" in joy...
ok good enough.
Now.. our little helpers will pass around a petition that the Golden Quadrilateral intersects the Holy Village of GummiddiPoondi, which is of great historical importance to us Pastafarians (in the image of the IT) by virtue of being the point of the 2789th sighting of THE PASTAFARIAN. The government must cease and desist and resign for impinging upon our religious beliefs or we will resort to peaceful protests of burning government and private vehicles, government and private property and also peacefully harm a few Pink Unicornists in the cross-peaceful-fire. Please sign it or you will be sent to pasta hell with stale beer and strippers with HIV.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Passing of Gods

Two of the world's most beautiful people, Gods in their own right, two of my favourite people among people I don't know personally passed on to be present only as memories, within a year of each other.

I don't have the capacity or depth to eulogise them but I certainly love them enough to mourn their passing.

James Brown, the Godfather of Soul became the stuff of memories on 25th of december 2006 and Luciano Pavarotti one of the greatest modern tenors did the same today the 6th of september 2007.

"Sex Machine" will get my adrenaline going till I die and I'll lip synch with Pavarotti as he does "Volare", veins in my neck straining till I've got my hearing.

I'm not particularly proud of the one time these two of my favourite musical stars came together on stage

:D but Pavarotti had this penchant for being "featured" with the greatest stars not that being "featured" meant he was second billed. As far as I know except for James Brown, Sinatra and Barry White, everyone else only had their thunder stolen by the tenor :D

And no one will be particularly proud of "Yes, Giorgio", his one venture into movies.. more nominations for the Raspberry than anything else :)

James though had a few appearances, all of them reasonably successful.

My favorite? Beat The Devil... not your run of the mill appearance though

The clip also proves Clive Owen can't fake a laugh to save his life :D

A life brilliantly and colourfully lived is something that binds them together. They are two of those who would encourage us to smile and remember them for lives well lived.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Guns Germs and Steel - History by a gem

Finally!! I managed to finish one of the umpteen non-fiction stuff that I've bought since I've had the money to do so :D
Its a superlative work on world history and the work and thought and research that has gone into this cult-ish book defies imagination. Jared Diamond has made it seem so easy to have done the work he has.
Jared has taken pains to establish the overwhelming influence of environment in who we are today and what we are today.
Wikipedia Entry
Reviews @ Amazon
As it is, I think this book has come at the threshold of a time in which us humans no longer depend on environments to shape our futures. Maybe we do. But the influence of the environment has become less and less a shaping factor and this era is an inflexion point where it ceases to be overwhelming. Yet it certainly doesn't take away that our respective environments have been the defining causative bringing us to this threshold in the first place.

There would've been a million .. billion ways we could've reached this threshold and even more ways that we never might've!! These thoughts blow away the mind. I might as well have read the seminal historic 13th Century BC work "Guns Germs and Steel" on a holographic nano-book on my way to Sirius by a historian Jared Diamond(Its is generally agreed that if it were not for the Catholic Church induced dark/middle ages, our history would've been fast forwarded by at least 8 centuries) or been a policeman speaking Mandarin in a gangster capitalist Chinese world looking for Khoisian African communists who follow the work !xobile or spitting a fowl over fire in my leather undies...

But for accidents of geography, climate and local biology and to a lesser extent accidents of personality like Octavian who created the Roman Empire as we know it, Christ who created the most popular of religions, Muhammad who created a hugely popular alternative to Christ's, Copernicus who first stood up to the insecure and barbaric Catholic Church and created the spark of scientific temper that changed the world and delivered Europe from the dark ages, Columbus who by sheer enterprise made the world round, Newton who provided us with unified calculus which was seemingly useless until the 19th century showed its true potential, Marx who thought way ahead of his time and changed the history of the world by penning an ideal, Qin Shi Huang who unified China with an iron grip and made the Middle Kingdom look inward and thus effectively nixed what could've been the Chinese world than the English world ...etc.. so much of our world's history would've been different!
Jared also demolishes so many fondly held myths along the way... the principal of which is that of European or Eurasian superiority.
I've added this to the list of stuff that my kids HAVE to read (when I have them that is :D) along with both of Nehru's works and The Hindu :D