Thursday, September 13, 2007

Talking of Gods... Mine would like to know you

I am the Pastafarian
I am the Pastafarian
I am the Pastafarian
I am the Pastafarian
rrraaaargghhhhh rowrrrrrr

I have been said to be in the same lineage as Russel's Teapot. HOW DARE THEY!!! A pox of lifelong substance abuse on them. I AM THE PASTAFARIAN. I don't come from any "Lineage". I AM existence and to amuse me I brought you into existence. Also to keep me company, I also brought a daddy-o, wispy ghost and holy vodka into existence.

I have been said to be related to a vague pink flying invisible unicorn. I scornthose who say that, I spit on them, I throw them in contempt of the court of Marinara Sauce. You dare relate me, the sacred PASTAFARIAN, to those superstitious fools? If the unicorn were invisible how do you know its pink? eh? Eh? EH??? TEll me thaTT!!! And they readily agree that the "both of us" (note the collective term... psyching me into their beliefs) are from "Russel's Teapot" and they are in fact the less dogmatic and hierarchical of the two. Of course they press the point with the Pink Unicorn Dearest Diary in one hand and a Uzi Submachine gun in the other.

The Last Thurdayists have gone on record and called me just one of "God's Prophets" and their prophet is in fact the final prophet and theirs is the "Final Religion"... AAARRGHHH OWWWWRRRR... That's a lot of nerve for a god who took seven days not counting thursdays to create the world... I did it at the speed of thought.
(No Bill gates.. you cannot sue me for copyright infringement.. I am omnipotent.. and I'll move to Linux) And to show their hostility toward me, they ran my favourite RC controlled speedboats into my 20 story luxury yacht. Barbarians!! Is this how they get back at me for the innocent looting that I did in their little towns?

Polytheistic religions? those pagans? they are pretty colourful.. I'll give it to them... I'll let you into a secret though.. you know when I'm twiddling my thumbs at my Holy Center of the Universe, Batty-can Metropolis, I created not just the daddy-o, wispy ghost and the holy vodka but also lotsa angels in yellow and black spandex. Then there are Supervisor Angels in red and black spandex, and four Pasta-favourite angels in (giggle) see-through spandex ;) . And to take care of you my little noodlisms, I've created 5120 Supermen. If you've mobile phone problems pray to your mobile phone superman before you pray to one of the angels. Don't bother me though, I'm still trying to create blue-yellow spandex. On top of that I've created gollums, smollums, cheery little hermaphrodites with wings that shoot expanding lead bullets at you to give you multiple orgasms, little people, large people et all. So there. We are every bit as colourful as those pagans with multiple gods and demigods and .. well .. whatever.
Onto my most gullible devotee, Nirmal...
(why do I use this tender, loving, sexy, genius's blog to express myself, you ask? Because you'd do good to be nice to him.. that's why.. I know that isn't a logical answer but my lines are supposed be read in-between too)

After that thrilling self-introduction (my spine is still tingling).. let all believers give THE PASTAFARIAN an "ooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyaaaayyyyyyy" in joy...
ok good enough.
Now.. our little helpers will pass around a petition that the Golden Quadrilateral intersects the Holy Village of GummiddiPoondi, which is of great historical importance to us Pastafarians (in the image of the IT) by virtue of being the point of the 2789th sighting of THE PASTAFARIAN. The government must cease and desist and resign for impinging upon our religious beliefs or we will resort to peaceful protests of burning government and private vehicles, government and private property and also peacefully harm a few Pink Unicornists in the cross-peaceful-fire. Please sign it or you will be sent to pasta hell with stale beer and strippers with HIV.


Anonymous said...

I just found the website who discuss about
home business reviews

If you want to know more here it is
home business opportunity

Anonymous said...

Making money on the internet is easy in the undercover world of [URL=]blackhat forum[/URL], You are far from alone if you haven’t heard of it before. Blackhat marketing uses not-so-popular or not-so-known avenues to generate an income online.

Anonymous said...

I love! Here I always find a lot of helpful information for myself. Thanks you for your work.
Webmaster of and
Best regards

Anonymous said...

top [url=]casino games[/url] brake the latest [url=]casino[/url] unshackled no consign reward at the chief [url=]bay take note of casino